Hi Everyone!
Here is the next Reflection from my church E-news. Enjoy the present! The picture is from Glacier Bay in Alaska and helps me to be calm in God’s gorgeous nature!J
Jane’s Ninth Reflection
I Feel Anxious All the Time
I think like everyone else, I have changed since the pandemic. Some of it is for the better. I am grateful for food, a roof over my head, and not to be sick when so many people all over the globe are suffering.
But there is one trait I didn’t have before now and that is a nagging, constant, worrisome anxiety. I feel anxious all the time
As a counselor, I know it is not a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is far worse. This is very real and scary. This condition can cause people to have panic attacks along with racing hearts, the inability to breathe, and other symptoms which mimic a heart attack. I have had clients end up in the Emergency Room thinking they were having a heart attack when it was actually overwhelming anxiety.
Rather, I feel the type of anxiety that makes me worry all the time. I am anxious every day whether it is safe for me to go out or not. I worry because so many people aren’t wearing masks and ignoring the rules of social distance. I worry if there will ever be a vaccine, and a time we will feel safe again. A simple trip to the grocery store causes grave concern. What if I make one wrong decision when I go out that I could get the virus and die? I feel terrible for people all over the world who have died, been very sick, are out of work, and going hungry because of this terrible insidious disease.
My weekly trips to the Cancer Center at the hospital make me wonder if I am safe around other sick people. The oncology nurses tell me sadly some people are not coming for their chemo, and it worries them that cancer will kill them instead. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place! But the medical professionals emphasize this is an individual choice and not one for them to make. On a personal level, I worry about my always present cancer. My blood counts are fluctuating and I need additional treatment. I may need another bone marrow biopsy in the next few months. There is a new chemo, but I question what the side effects are and if it will work. I worry about my senior dog, who has been my guardian angel and companion for 13 years. At age 16, I watch her become frailer every day, as I know she is in her twilight years.
I worry about my friends, family, and church family that they will remain safe. I had some of these worries before, but the COVID 19 has exacerbated everything for all of us.
Then I need to draw on my faith and think – STOP!!! We never knew before the pandemic when tragedy might strike such as an illness or accident. The difference is this hit the entire world at once. Jobs are never secure and any of us could be homeless under the wrong conditions.
I need to take one day at a time. It is that simple and yet complicated!!! Jesus knew we all worry and he certainly did. He had the burdens of the world on his shoulders. There are many references in the Bible telling us not to worry.
The book of Matthew has two of my favorite verses. Matthew 6:34 says “Do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. “(NIV)
Matthew 6:27 has a great common-sense approach. “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (NLT). Touché I say!
The late Joan Rivers summed this idea up with a wonderful quote. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that is why we call it the present.” No matter what our collective and individual worries are, we have a present every single day called life.” ENJOY!